My mind won't shut up!

There comes a time when you just get sick and tired of being sick and tired, and fed up with all the chatter in your mind that sabatages every effort to be healthy and happy. And when you come to that time in your life, when you have just had enough, then and only then, is it the right time to make the changes necessary to be well. It really isn't about weight,illness,low energy, or lack of sleep. It's not about your career path, family life, finaces, or relationships, but it does have everything to do with mindset. You know it, you read about it, and you learn about it; but when it comes time to apply it, we simply slip back into the auto pilot patterns that start the cycle all over again. That negative cycle that only perpetuates negatvie feelings, negative responses, negative habits and behaviors, negative directions, that negative destination that becomes who you are....and it all started with one single thought. A thought you fed and let grow, a thought you nurtured, and visualized, played over and over until it became your reality. And then as if we are some sort of victim, we allow it to take us on a long ride to a dead end road to nowhere. Finding yourself discouraged, frustrated, depressed and sick. In wanting to take charge I found that it is so much easier replacing thoughts then behaviors. But knowing isn't enough, it takes action, and application in a powerful way that will change the outcome of your destination and who you are, but it isn't easy because our mindset keeps going back to some stored password that unlocks the door to more automatic thinking playing like a video lupe over and over until we begin to feel it, and then act it out. So if you are unaware of your thinking and don't really pay attention like most of us every day, then you need to tune into your feelings and if that is too warm and fuzzy touchy feely, then look at your habits, behaviors, how you act because that will show you a lot about what is going on or not upstairs in the battlegrounds of the brain. And if you just are so much on auto pilot that you can't even see actions as negative or damaging, then maybe take a look at your life, because all the problems you think you are victim to, may not be so random. And if suddently a long list of people and circumstances come to mind that are to blame for all of your dispair and stress, then you are definately on auto pilot. So I am taking the automatic settings off,clearing out all the old video lupes, programs, and passwords, and starting over where I am in charge of my thoughts and; most importantly, aware of them and what they do to me. It's time to take THEY out of our vocabulary, and replace it with I for the beginning of every journey starts with I.... I can.....I will.....I am.....I like.....I want......I! I can tell a lot about a person by what they say and do...it tells me what they are thinking. When we spend our time and energy on negative things; putting down others, their beliefs, their life, we reveal that we are afraid of promoting ourselves. A belief is based on a thought you have from lessons, experiences, knowlege, understanding, comprehension, intellect and emotions. That is why there are as many belief systems as there are people, each suited to the reality of the person who holds it so tightly. If we could grasp the concept that it is ok for people to believe what they hold to be true, until they learn more and find a new truth/facts, even if we don't live in the same reality, then the respect of separate realities/truths will enable us to finally work together in a postive manner that will bring about the change we all hope to find. Until then, Happy Thoughts, but my mind won't shut up!

Enjoying the simple things in life!

When I was around 3, my mother put me on the back porch, at our home in Salem, while she was cooking...distracted by a plane (I thought it was awesome how that thing could fly) I began to follow the plane as it passed out of my view from the back porch. Down the steps, across the back yard and onto the alley-way I followed intently...until of course she found me and brought me back home...

Knowing how much I loved planes...one of my rewards was taking me to the Huddocks Custard Stand, in Quinton/Salem area,to get a butter scotch Sundae and watch the little crop duster planes flying around (dropping pesticides on us).

At one point I thought I would just love to be a pilot but a teacher told me I was too big/Tall and that ended that! Later I found that was only for a fighter pilot in the military but family and life took me in another direction...

One day while sitting at the Airport, where my husband works, watching the planes land (from his office window overlooking the runways), I had this wonderful feeling of how much God knows me, and that it was no coincidence that I was married to a man now running an airport. Tears came up behind my eyes at the possibility that God's hand had guided me to that spot, at that moment as I could imagine him say, "I love you Pam! Enjoy those pleasures from childhood and remember the joy in the simple things."

Yesterday after pulling into our driveway returning home from "AIRFEST" at the airport...a banner plane flies overhead, and once again I am overcome with the happiness of remembering in childhood...loving the beach days with the family, watching the banner plane fly overhead being a big highlight of our trip for this plane lover.

Today while resting on the bed looking out my bedroom window seeing only sky, planes flying by, banner planes busily working the beach, I am enjoying the simple things in life...What did you love as a child? Do you get to do it?

Perhaps today, we can all take a moment to be thankful for those small things like Jalapeno Peppers stuffed with cheese and wrapped in bacon, fresh fruit, ice cream from the ice cream truck, a beautiful sunrise, family time, planes flying overhead....

Enjoying the simple things in life...how about you?

Centered in Love!

I started this quest to love everyone, without judging or pointing fingers of ridicule or assumptions, even if they didn't believe the same way I did, even if they may actually be on the opposing side of my belief systems, and even if they were unlovable. You see I have always been a people person, and loving the lovable has always been easy, not very difficult at all, but the real challenge has always been for me to love the unlovable...the grumpy, mean, angry, rough, offensive individuals I call Porcupines. A wonderful book "How to love a Porcupine" started my quest that became an opportunity for my deepest growth ever and what I found was that all sides, all people, all belief systems... group together in commonalities and then begin the right and wrong, finger pointing often mislabeling limitations of all others.

"THEY" is everyone but my group, but I am the "THEY" in every other group but mine.
So I figured, in order to make a difference on the Planet, I should start with the most common "THEY" there is, and that is ME, since I am more often in the "THEY" group, than in my one me group. What an ancient concept, yet rarely applied. I could work on me, and me alone, and if everyone worked on ME the most common THEY, the entire world would shift from pointing fingers at them, to reflecting on Self/me. But then isn't that the reason we focus on all of THEM...because we don't like looking at the ME.

Another favorite book "Dark side of the Light Chasers" exposes the real reason THEY make us each so angry, and that is, they are a reflection of our dark side we oppress and therefore it ignites us. When we truly unplug, we are no longer ignited by THEM.

So to truly love others, and accept without judging would mean to truly love thyself...as thy neighbor...(I get it)...the most difficult person to actually love, is ME. "Love thy Neighbor as thyself" takes on an entirely deeper meaning when we understand that to love thy neighbor, we must love our self.

I have a strong belief system centered on GOD my source of all light and knowledge. And I believe that the greatest way I can show that love to GOD...is to be centered in Love. Love for myself, as a child of GOD, and then Love for others regardless of what they may believe. I am not limited by their belief system...and their anger, fear, frustration, or passions, do not ignite me or take away from what I believe.

TO change America, the world, and life as we know it...is not in marches, rallies, propositions, or agenda's... but to truly change is to be individually centered in love for oneself and thy neighbor, without judgment, without pointing fingers, without being ignited in passionate anger...

and I have yet to see any side show love to the other...as a dear friend once said..."Hey have you ever tried, really reaching out to the other side" I am trying...centered in LOVE!

My Pace is My Place!

Often I find myself trying to keep up with the pace others have set for me, only to find it is not what keeps me heading onward and upward. And oh too often I find that when Life is most difficult,is when it is time to unload and regroup, setting a pace that I can keep.

Somewhere along the line, I felt the need to please everyone and anyone, accept me that is, ending up in frustration and exhaustion. Which of course led me to a place of deep soul searching and questioning in order to find my answers...it was there, deep in the pits of my darkest moments within, I found the answers I had been looking for all along, but then following them was an entirely different story.

Somehow I managed to separate the stories that played in my head about me, from what stories I could create about me, and was able to find me. But the journey to me, was a long winding road up hill that gave me the experiences in the process called life, I needed to reach my greatest good...

Finally, I came to know that the pace I walk on my journey called life, is my place to choose how, where, why, what and when it will be...but the most difficult part of the journey I never expected to encounter was facing the judgments and reactions of others...

Hopefully as I continue to be me at the pace I choose best for me...I will be able to say...My Pace is MY Place.

The Land of Good n Plenty Ice Cream!

So many ideas flow through my mind that I often argue with how it can't be done,
why I don't want it done,when it needs to be done, or who really should be getting it done rather than me, until recently looking at the big picture and understanding the Universe is constantly vibrating like radio waves to a radio with lots of sounds to hear...it just requires us to tune in and listen. Some call it source, others call it God/his Holy Spirit, truth, light, our center. Because of how our dogmatic, and at times negative,unloving religious boundaries have created pain and barriers, excluding instead of including there is a long list of politically correct, new wave ways to identify what is taking place, but for me, it is always God! A loving inclusive God, who tolerates, accepts and allows all levels of learning and growing, with understanding and patience. If a dieing man named Jesus, looks toward the Heavens and asks GOD to "Forgive them for they know not what they do," then I figure we certainly need to be more forgiving over smaller things.

Religions argue over who is right, when in reality, God loves all of his children. As a believing, Innocent child I asked God one day..."God Why are there so many religions/beliefs?" and here is what he said....

Through my very wise mother, full of Godly knowledge as a gift, and not specifically taught, she explained to me that "Religion is man's relationship with GOD." Very personal as each unique personality, as well as our likes and dislikes all determine how that relationship will be...Some people don't like talking to someone they can not see and like talking to a Father here on earth where they can get concrete answers,while others like the freedom of independently taking it directly to God. Some people don't want a stuffy building to worship God, but rather to go down to a beautiful sunset as it descends below the ocean at dusk. We are all different with our own individual experiences shaping who we are, and what we choose to do...She explained just like the many flavors of ice cream that we all like different ones, there are different religions to satisfy all men,and each man must choose according to his heart's desire...it all made perfect sense to me.

So with the Pamanalogy of Ice Cream Flavors being different religions/our relationship with God...here is a kiddie story I wrote....

One day in the land of Good n Plenty Ice Cream...there was a group of strawberry Ice cream lovers, meeting for a Strawberry ice cream party. How exciting to devour the cold smooth creamy treat with chunks of real frozen strawberries inside, when suddenly out of nowhere came an angry chocolate nut lover with his entire group holding signs that read...DOWN WITH BERRIES of ANY KIND. No MORE BERRIES. THEY CREATE ALLERGIES. THEY ARE NO GOOD! What on earth is this, cried the strawberry bunch? Angry chocolate nut lovers? So the Strawberry Bunch picked up their signs and joined the angry march..DOWN WITH CHOCOLATE NUTS THEY CLOSE YOUR THROAT AND KILL YOU! NO MORE NUTTY NUISANCES! NUTS CAUSE ALLERGIES! WHO LIKES A NUT ANYWAY! The two angry groups shouted and bickered back and forth until both sides were so upset neither could enjoy their ice cream...when Along came the Banana splits ice cream club...WOW, LOOK, We have hit the Land of Good and Plenty all right...Strawberry and Chocolate nuts to go along with our banana ice cream for the perfect banana split! WHAT? The Strawberry Bunch and the Chocolate Nuts were confused...each accusing the other side of being no good for they could not see the value in what the did not like. Their personal preference had clouded their allowing for others to enjoy their preferences too, in Peace. Before long the Banana Split Club explained the importance of both flavors to make a Banana Split...and reluctantly both the Strawberry Bunch, and the Chocolate Nuts put down their signs and began to help make Banana Splits. At first it was extremely difficult to change flavors, but once they tried it, each side found they absolutely loved the new found ice cream treat, and from that day forward they never again fought about what flavor was best, always trying new flavors and allowing the many opportunities each delicious ice cream treat brought to their experience in The Land of Good n Plenty Ice Cream.(Not to mention those who are lactose intolerant all together and have to eat sherbet)

There are many flavors in life...and we must not get so caught up in our own preferences/beliefs/choices, that everything has to be a fight of right and wrong...without allowing each man to live according to his/her heart's desire. I have flavors I do not care for...but I certainly do not go around putting them down and fighting to get rid of them, as a matter of fact, I respect, embrace and enjoy the balance of life they bring. I love all ice cream, even it I don't eat all of them, I am "big" enough to understand that we all have a right to experience The Land of Good n Plenty Ice Cream in Peace! Let's see, today I think I will try something green...chocolate chip mint here I come :)

Bloom where you are planted...

It never ceases to amaze me how a flower (or tree) will find its way through the smallest crack in the sidewalk, or highway. Somehow in the midst of the chaos, and worse conditions imaginable, it was able to bloom where it was planted. I'll never forget the flower I saw through a crack on the side of a busy highway...unchanged by the life around it, in full bloom....and it made me think...

"Bloom Where you are Planted" was one of my mother's favorite Sayings/Quotes. Explaining how we are all born into various circumstances, and go through many experiences in life, learning to make the best of it, and how, if we are willing to learn and grow in spite of the challenges or adversity we experience we too can bloom where we are planted. Experiences shape our character if we choose to react, but experiences should not define who we are, if we choose to act. ACT as we know we are supposed to, no matter what environmental conditions surround us. Nourish ourselves through sunlight/sonlight/light/truth, water/knowledge, and what we breath in/good positive energy. ACTING is not always easy because we all tend to REACT...

We all tend to have "If I only had" syndrome. In order to thrive we think we need to have our own home, or a new car, or that college education, or a better income, or on, and on, and on which are all fine goals but not if they are part of "If I only had" syndrome...the problem with "If I only had" syndrome, is that once you have- you move onto the next, "If I only had" item on the list that is needed for happiness, to thrive....and it never ends, and your happiness is never achieved.

I did not see that flower through the crack in the highway, withered and saying...if I only had a garden in a beautiful countryside. Somehow that flower just bloomed where it was planted and thrived.

Nature communicates many messages to us...if we know how to hear them...The seasons remind us of the time it is,under the Sun, and what we need to be doing...Summer/Garden of Eden/Plenty of good food growing from the earth...a time for basking in "plentifullness" and preparing for a time when there isn't as much.

Today, I am going to enjoy the moment! Bask in the plentiful blessing I have, focus on what the SON provides. Look at how I can Bloom/Grow in my current conditions, circumstances, experiences! Whether I have been planted in a beautiful Country garden, or a crack in the highway, I am still a flower...today I am going to "Bloom where I am Planted!" And YOU?

The Bridge

Since I was a very young child I could communicate. I talked early on, and I understood what was going on in my environment at all times both near and far. In my baby book, my mother writes, how while playing back in my bedroom, at 17 months, she started to set the table, I came out, went over to my father and said, "Daddy, Eat!" She thought that was note worthy because I had to be aware of everything, and quickly put it together, all while intently playing off in my bedroom. It would take years to understand everyone wasn't doing what I was doing, and only recently to admit openly that I have a gift, and I know how to use it, lol.

It all started when I was around 3 and 1/2, my mother's father, my Pop Pop died. I was very close to Pop Pop and loved him dearly. At the funeral I wondered why his eyes were sewn shut as I was aware of the stitches. My dad explained how the eyes would pop open and scare people if they weren't sewn shut. Oh..it seemed logical. It wasn't traumatic or scary to me. I just understood, he really wasn't in that shell, and really wasn't gone or dead either. What upset me most was when my mom, crying like I had never seen her cry, collapsed and men, along with my dad, had to brace her up and hold her...that upset me. My mom needed me, and they wouldn't let me near her. She noticed my concern and picked me up and hugged me, and said she would be alright, she was just sad at missing her dad already.

A few years after that, my bath water was running, and I was getting all of my toys out of the bathroom closet to toss in for bath time, which for me was water play. I tossed in my barbies, toy fish, bubbles, my washcloth, and funny soap, when in my mind I thought, "Pam Its Pop Pop." I thought to myself, what? Why did I just think that thought...again I think in my mind "No you didn't think it, its me." How weird is that, I thought, I just did it again...and again I hear, "Pam this is how we talk to you now." Suddenly I understood...if he wasn't here, or in his body, he had no voice for my ears to hear, and would have to talk in my mind. I got it...loud and clear. So I thought back..."POP POP I miss you, what are you doing?" and like any good Pop Pop would, he responded and explained to me how our loved ones are not really ever gone. They are with us, and are- our "guardian angels" so to speak. They are there for birthdays, Christmas, Easter, all the holidays they shared with us, graduations and weddings. He told me that we, still here, are taught to let them go, and to not think about them or it hurts, and that prevented them from communicating. Our sadness and sorrow binds us and doesn't allow the flow of love to enter. He promised he would always see me do all the important things in life, and be there for me when I was down. Then he made me promise not to tell anyone, as they would not understand. It was the most beautiful moment, and it would be the start of a lifetime of communication to those that have crossed over to "The Other Side of Earth" as they call it. But for some reason in keeping it sacred, I felt I had to keep it secret. For years I thought everyone did it, until I blurted it out one day, and someone in shock said, "What did you say?" I immediately knew not everyone "hears" and they weren't ready to hear either.

Recently, after reconnecting on facebook with many old friends, I was bombarded with all of your loved ones who know I hear, and want to let you all know...they are here, they see you, and they love you. Plant a tree and memory garden, scrap old photos, and talk to them, let them know what they meant to you, throw a birthday party BBQ in their honor...a memory day...don't let them go...remember them....love them...you will open the channel.

Can't explain why...just know we all have gifts...What are yours? Do you know? It isn't always about singing, painting, playing an instrument....it could be something as simple/pure as loving animals, being a good friend, tolerant, patient, kind. It could be that you are empathetic, and understanding, the more you acknowledge these traits as gifts, and use them, the stronger they become. The world needs your gifts...Share them liberally!

There are two sides to the river...people have chosen which side to reside...but we need bridges that connect the two sides...the bride doesn't choose a side to reside, because the bridge touches both sides, and connects them over troubled waters. I want to be a bridge. Not hating or arguing with any side, but loving the good and bad in all things, both sides, acknowledging and allowing. There is too much hate and anger and that creates dis at ease/disease in our bodies and our planet. To begin this healing process we need gifted people willing to share their gifts, and strong people who can be a bridge....The bridge is the best help in getting communication across to the other side, here or there, or everywhere! (Sounds like a Dr. Sues Book, lol)

I am so proud to announce that I was unfriended because I am a bridge, and refused to choose a side. I wanted to impress that we can collectively as a whole begin to shift this planet by our collective efforts of love, respect and understanding for all....hate, anger, fighting, never motivates people to cooperate and work as a team. Watch the different coaching styles in sports. The successful teams, know how to work their position, and work together. Whatever position you were put in here, know how to work it...expand that talent, and Together Everyone Achieves More. TEAM!

Until next time...I have to go repair the bridge/me...they are always the first thing taken out in a war/conflict/dispute/disagreement, because they are so valuable in keeping both sides connected. What war are you in/battling with? Use your gifts, and be The Bridge!